Thursday, July 27, 2006

Battle Cry?

(so the banner doesn't work... whatever. http://www.battlecry.com.)

hey guys, check this out, it's a cool organization. I first heard about it at Alive 2005, one of the speakers mentioned it, and then a xanga comment brought my attention back to it. BC is basically a group (mostly an online group) of Christians looking to "be salty" (to slow the decay of this generation) through evangelism and prayer. See, at the rate things are going right now, by the time we are adults, only 4% of the U.S. will be Bible-believing Christians... P.D. gave us that stat, remember how he said it's so important to stay with the church? so imagine the world today, in all its violent and sensual glory, with 35% of our country as Christians... and imagine the same world with only one seventh of those Christians. To me that's terrifying and I know I've barely seen the surface of everything.

So BC is a group of Christians (all ages, all denominations, whatever) out to stop that decay, and to bring people to Christ so that we can change those stats. it's like a big witnessing support group, to pray for each other and the movement, offer encouragement and advice, share stories, whatever you like. kind of like the Christian-witness edit of myspace. cool stuff. just thought I'd share if anyone's interested or has heard anything or whatever. eh?

<33 Rosie

Sunday, July 23, 2006

"I just envisioned a rainbow without any green." the lovely story of Camp Patmos 2006


Yes, I got this from the camp website... no, my method probably wasn't legal (copypasting the whole screen into paint and cutting the picture). But I don't have my pics developed yet so this will do. Plus it's a lovely picture of all of us, eh?
left to right: Elizabeth, Danielle, me, Ashley, Kristen, Tyleasha, Brittany, Kassie and Emily.





In the nine days or less that I've spent at Camp Patmos, one thing has become really, really clear: this is no ordinary place. No, Patmos is a retreat in every sense of the word, an entire other world where nothing bad can touch anyone. Maybe it's the lake, maybe it's the sunshine, or more likely, maybe it's God's doing. It's peaceful like nothing else. Everyone gets along perfectly and everyone grows in their faith. You can't avoid it. My week was no different.

1. First of all, I had such a great time with everybody, as soon as we got to the church Monday morning I think we could all just tell, this was going to be a ton of fun, and boy it sure was. It felt like the whole camp was the same way, there was just this happy-excited vibe everywhere. I can't remember another time when it was so easy to just chill and be myself. And that includes the staff, I bet I could've walked up to any of them and come away with a friend or at least a smile. We also got to spend a lot of time with the Jackson family and they're some of the greatest people ever. And of course there were the eight of us plus Mrs. Kozy in AJ4... you guys are wicked amazing. So you pair these incredible people with a few crazy activities/games/etc. and some beautiful weather and too few hours of sleep and you get way too much fun.

2. I turned fourteen at 3:33 p.m. on Thursday, July 20. I found out later that I was on a boat at that time after a wild tubing adventure (well, a very careful wild tubing adventure because this was the day after the chin incident haha) with Kristen. The camp sang to me in a.m. chapel because my cabin-mates are lovely people like that and arranged it. I'm pretty sure this was the day we saw a snake eating a fish... wow gross. but it was a fabulous day except for that.

3. Then there's the other side, maybe the real side, of camp: what happens in chapel and on the shore, I guess it's what happens in our hearts. God really spoke to me this week through P.D., His Word, the devotions, you guys, even the songs. I remember listening on Monday night to P.D.'s first message and thinking "this is going to be quite a week." A lot of my doubts were cleared up this week and for some reason that was really hard. By (I think) Wednsday night, I'd realized that suddenly most of my doubts about Christianity had been proven unfounded. I'm not sure why but I found myself desperately searching for something I could argue. When I could come up with nothing I was... well, at a loss for words. I've spent this past year arguing, finding a difference almost weekly between Catholicsism and Christianity, or finding a verse I didn't understand, and giving it to Emily to defend; of course she never failed. But it wasn't until Thursday, over a year after I was saved, that I had no reason to doubt that salvation. That was a powerful feeling. I remember sitting there by the shore, only a few hours into being fourteen, after an intense message from P.D. about what it really means to be saved. The following morning we got to do our own devotions and I ended up in Romans 8 , and jumping into my face were the words "there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." For the first time in a long time I think I understood that I don't understand, if that makes any sense. I think I finally got that sometimes there's no one to blame, some things just had to happen and I may never know the reason. It's been the hardest thing to find something I feel I can honestly and totally believe in, but now, I know it's the truth. God used this place and this week and these people to fill me with peace, a reassurance that He will never leave me or forsake me.

And I'm not going to finish this off saying I can't wait to go back. I mean, I can't, I'm psyched for Banished (hopefully I'll be there, and my brother might come too if we're lucky and Dan will go) and of course next summer, but I must admit I'm pretty psyched to be home too. I'm ready to go out there and share what I've learned over the past year and bring Jesus to the world (or bring the world to Jesus if you like). I'm ready for high school and whatever it brings, as long as I stay devoted to studying the Word and praying- haha, devoted to my devotions- I can stay close to God and bring His light to others. I can be salty and slow down the decay of this crazy world. But one thing P.D. said really got to me, the thing about how your Christian friends should be your closest friends. I don't have a ton of Christian friends outside of church, just a few others at school who I'm not very close to and maybe two or three at ballet. So will you guys hold me to accountability? it would be amazing if yes.

So I'm going to close this instead with a quote I saw on Emily's wall when we got back to the Kozy's house that really seemed to sum up the whole week, excuse the loose paraphrase because I don't remember it exactly-

"A lighthouse doesn't run around beating people with its light. It just shines." -anonymous


Saturday, July 15, 2006

hallelujah, He RAINS!

aaaah... yes, yes He does. (more power to those who caught the Newsboys allusion in the title). So Ty's party was fun times ten. We got there and played volleyball and had dinner and stuff, pizza and pasta salad mmmmm... then we had to go stand on the street corner to wait for Becky since she's that cool... and then we had cake and presents and etc, and I learned how to spell Tyleasha (wow I didn't know how to on the card... I felt bad aaaah!). then we went outside and had a water balloon toss that lasted about five minutes, and then it started raining but did that stop the hide-and-seeking? of course not. so me and Ty were awesome partners and Mr. Terrifying Tiki Man was safe haha and then we gave up because it was raining hardhardhard (plus lightning... and we were all touching a metal pole because it was "safe..." irony much?) so we went over to the parking lot next door and danced in the puddles singing CAMP SONGS WOOOO! haha Brittany that was awesome... He rains! and by this time it was like 10:30 and every part of each of us was soooooaked so we went inside to dry off... then we watched Yours, Mine and Ours which has HAWK NELSON in it while they were still hot... aaah that made my night. and Ashley killed me at hot hands (lmnop! haha so excited for camp!) and then we all started drifting off while watching While You Were Sleeping which is a cute little movie if you ever get bored. Then we woke up and hung out for a little while and me and Elizabeth understood the cinnamon-cracker band-aids and I had Lucky Charms for breakfast for the first time in eeever...

then I had to leave about half an hour early to go to MY FIRST GUITAR LESSON woooo! so I was pretty psyched for that. and I guess I'm pretty good because I can already read music and know about majors and minors and dominant sevenths from piano-ing. so I'm learning Wish You Were Here by Pink Floyd in the next two weeks and it's cool just because I can say "yeah, I can play Pink Floyd." on my acoustic. haha yeah right.

Ok, Emily Beckie Brittany Becky and Kassie (or anyone else if you want to), I'm in need of advice... a few nights ago I was really confused and I just opened up my Bible and what I read fit 100% PERFECTLY to my life, it was exactly what I needed to hear, God was literally talking to me and it was so cool. what I read was somewhere in Mark and it was that verse that says (loose paraphrasing, deal with it) "if your eye causes you to sin, cut it out and throw it away. it's better to go through your life crippled than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." this was after I got back from the summer school show and was missing ballet so terribly... I remembered why I left in the first place. it was causing me to sin, to be concieted and put myself in front of others and work for my own glory instead of God's.

but then I started thinking about other things, and I was also confused because I've been noticing that I'm a very PROUD person. and sure you can say I have plenty of reasons to be proud, grades, poetry, music, ballet, whatever, but it's still a bad thing in God's eyes. so I was thinking, if pride is a sin, what causes me to be proud? my grades? I can't just cut school out of my life and I can't just start failing because wouldn't that be taking what God has given me for granted? but what about... wow this kind of hurts to say... what about poetry? I know I'm a good writer, as concited as that sounds, because as a writer I have to know what is good and what isn't.... I'm incredibly critical of myself, so when something is good, I know it. but if it's causing me to be proud, shouldn't I cut it out of my life? but I also believe it's a God-given talent, maybe what He has planned for the rest of my life... so shouldn't I be trying to be the best I can be? and I do write for God, at least I try to, mostly I write about where I am in my faith at that moment... so that's glorifying Him, right? but then I look back at some of my stuff and think, "wow, I am really good," and even though I don't say it when people tell me I am, I definetly think it. so I am really really confused. and, I've been reading Romans for two weeks or so now and it's taught me a lot about being a hypocrite and I also realized that not only am I proud and self-centered, but I'm a heck of a hyporite. so I'm pretty annoyed with myself at the moment. I know I'll never be perfect but I want to be so much better than I am, you have no idea... (actually you probably do have a pretty good idea, I think everyone gets stuck at this place sometimes)... I want to be so much more compassionate, I love people but I get annoyed so easily... I want to be so much better at music and writing and etc but so much more humble... I do not do the good I want to do but the evil I hate, being sold as a slave to sin... (yes I stole that from Romans 7:14-21 haha Emily)... basically I am a living contradiction with my heart in what I hope is the right place but my actions unable to reflect that. aaaaarg!

sometimes it's embarassing to talk to You
to hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through
this version of myself I try to hide behind
I'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified
and sometimes I'm so thankful for Your loyalty
You love without reserve, the mistakes I make will spoil me
my confidence is, in a sense, a gift You've given me
and I'm satisfied to realize You're all I'll ever need
and sometimes I spend my time just trying to escape
I work so hard so desperately in an attempt to create space
'cause I want distance from me and the most important thing I know
I see Your love, then turn my back and beg for You to go...
and You recite my words right back to me, before I even speak
You let me know I am understood.

<3333 Rosie

p.s. crap I just reread that and discovered how incredibly "emo-I-hate-myself" it sounded... nonono it's totally NOT like that, I know God understands and I know I can overcome this with His help, the above song describes everything perfectly... I just had to get that out of my system. and if you have advice it is by all means welcome. plus camp is in TWO DAYS WOOO (actually I have to be at the Kozy's in about 35 hours yayayay!) so I'm really looking forward to maybe learning something I need to hear from this famous "PD" you all speak of... eh?

Friday, July 14, 2006

why Emily and Brittany are my favorite people ever

THESE ARE NOT MY PANTS
WHOSE PANTS ARE THESE ANYWAY???

Saturday, July 08, 2006

:(

ok guys... I don't want to post this but I will because I want you to know if things are weird. maybe you already know, I don't know, ugg...

My Grandma- Mary Dudek- died on Wednsday. yes, she had cancer, but she was beating it, and she just went to sleep after her chemotherapy treatments that day and didn't wake up.

you have no idea how hard it was to be 2500 miles away at the time.

calling hours are tomorrow, 3-7, and the funeral is Monday at 9 or 10 am (I think) at OLV, if you knew her. and if you did, you know how amazing she was and how much everyone in the whole freaking world loved her. and she loved everyone else and God more than anyone... and I know she has a lovely room in heaven.
please please please pray for our family. especially my Grandpa because he's taking it really hard.
thanks a million.

No chilling wind or poisonus breath
Can reach that healthful shore
Where sickness, sorrow, pain and death
Are felt and feared no more...
I am bound for the promised land.